NU inseamna NU! #nuinseamnanu #nomeansno

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Hello peps!

This will be a bilingual post because I will be talking about an important subject in terms of life and violence. Please scroll down to find out the English version of it!

Astazi voi posta (cred ca pentru prima data ) un articol pe blog, in limba romana..

De ce?

Pentru ca ceea ce s-a intamplat si se intampla in Romania in ziua de astazi nu este normal! Pentru ca avem foarte mare nevoie de educatie atat in scoli cat si acasa si pentru ca avem nevoie de educatie sexuala si invatarea unor limite si a cuvantului NU!

De la ce-a pornit totul? De la un caz extrem de tulburator despre un viol petrecut acum cateva luni unde o fata a fost abuzata de sapte baieti pierzandu-si cunostinta in repetate randuri. Agresorii sunt in arest la domiciliu in acest moment neffind considerati periculosi pentru societate!

Mai mult, se pare ca mama unuia dintre ei a facut un grup de suport pentru fiul sau pe facebook pentru a aduna “dovezi” si “marturi” ca el ar fi nevinovat si ca fata a facut sex de bunavoie cu toti sapte. Si mai multe persoane din satul respectiv sunt de acord cu violatorii pentru ca “a facut ea ceva!”, la fel ca toate femeile care sunt violate, vina este a lor!

Cum sa isi doreasca asa ceva, “sex surpriza” dupa cum au zis chiar violatorii?

Voi, cei care sustineti ca femeile si fetele sunt vinovate ca se imbraca cum se imbraca si se comporta cum se comporta, voi daca ati fi prinsi de sapte barbati si violati pana lensinati ca erati singuri pe strada dupa ora 10.00, voi ati fi dorit-o nu?

Asta e sfatul vostru pentru femei?

1. Sa ai grija la straini? – Cand patru din cinci victime sunt violate de cunoscuti!

2. Sa ai grija cum te imbraci? – Pentru ca barbatii sunt niste animale (pardon! animalele nu violeaza!!!!) si nu se pot stapani!

3. Sa nu mergi noaptea pe strada?- Doar de ce ai dreptul la libertate?Nu mai bine stai tu acasa “la cratita”?!

4. Sa fi “cuminte” sau cinstita?- Fiecare om are dreptul la alegere, fiecare om face ce vrea cu corpul sau si il foloseste cum crede de cuviinta. Desigur femeii care face asta i se spune “curva” si barbatului “barbat bine”. Eventual se adauga si un zambet de apreciere la adresa ultimului ca a reusit sa franga multe inimi si sa traga in “teapa” multe fraiere.

Luati aminte parinti “din lumea-ntreaga”!

Ia aminte tu mama de violator care sustii ca al tau copil e nevinovat! Ia aminte ca nu numai anturajul conteaza! Ia aminte ca in loc sa o ajuti pe saraca fata care acum are niste traume psihice cu care va ramane toata viata, ai ales sa o ponegresti pe retelele de socializae pentru a-ti apara odorul! Ia aminte ca esti atat de “ingusta” incat nu reusesti sa treci peste drama personala de a avea un copil arestat la domiciliu drept violator, in loc sa vezi ca adevarata victima aici este femeia!

Si cred, chiar cred ca te-ai trezit dintr-o data cu toata chestia asta care ti-a picat pe cap! Si cred ca trebuie sa-ti salvezi copilul, ca e al tau si-ti seamana, si ai vrea sa aibe un viitor! Dar cand spuneai ca “Aia-i o curva!” si “Ailalta strica casnicii!” si ca “Merita batuta!”nu ti-a trecut prin cap ca tu construiesti ceva acolo? Ca tu,  da.. tu! dai de inteles ca unele femei n-au atatea drepturi ca tine? Ca unele merita mai putin pentru ca au ales sa-si traiasca viata altfel sau ca nu au avut acces la aceleasi lucruri ca tine?

Acum stai si uita-te la cum al tau copil va fi “curva” altora si simte si tu ce-a simtit fata aia si vezi ca nu e prea tarziu ca sa repari ce ai stricat! Iti trebuie doar putin bun simt pentru asta si un strop de curaj! Dar ai grija, cand ai curaj ca femeie e posibil sa fi blamata si batuta si cateodata abuzata!

Si tu odraslo’ nu e numai vina parintilor tai! Si tu esti vinovat, tu mai ales, in cea mai mare masura! Dar oare are rost sa-ti vorbesc tie? Ai cum sa ma intelegi? Sau cel mai bine e sa te las ca experienta sa te innobileze? Drum bun pe calea inchisorii dragule, vei avea parte de cea mai “tare” experienta a vietii tale!

Unde e problema aici? Problema e peste tot, problema e deja un cancer care in loc sa scada in timp, creste si tot creste si ajunge sa acapareze din ce in ce mai multa lume. Problema e ca se pica la bac (Da! pentru mine e un indice de incultura si  de lipsa de educatie civila!), problema e ca “banul detine puterea” in societatea noastra , problema e ca unii parinti ii invata pe ai lor copii ca aici banii si “jemecheria” conteaza!

Asa ca…:

DA! Dau vina pe sistemul de educatie din zilele noastre care NU introduce  educatie sexuala in scoli ca materie!

DA! Dau vina pe parintii care nu le dau educatie sexuala si comportamentala copiilor!

DA! Dau vina pe societate pentru ca in Romania peste 80% din locuitori sunt inculti si lipstiti de educatie! (asta este o parere personala, daca nu sunteti de acord va rog sa ma convingeti de contrariu!)

si

DA! Dau vina pe cei care nu stiu sa se opreasca cand spui NU!

Si DA, as vrea sa vad barbati care se inscriu in aceasta campanie, barbati crescuti frumos de mame responsabile, barbati care stiu sa se opreasca cand o femeie spune nu si care au curajul sa ajute in asemenea situatii!

Mai multe informatii si aticole pe pagina de facebook Nu Inseamna Nu!

Cu drag si cu putina tristete, Anda 

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English

Today I will post (I think for the first time: -?) In Romanian a blog post!

Why?

Because what happened and is happening in Romania today is not normal! Because we have a great need for education both in schools and at home and we need sex education and to learn the limits of the  NO word!

What started it all? An extremely troubling case about a rape occurred several months ago where a girl was abused by seven boys and lost consciousness several times. The bullies are under house arrest at the moment because they’re not considered a threat to society!

Moreover, it seems that the mother of one of them made a support group for his son on Facebook to gather “evidence” and “testimonies” that he is innocent and the girl willingly had sex with all seven. There are many people in the village that agree with the rapists because, they say “she must of done something” so she deserves it! Like all women who are raped, the blame is on them!

How could she want something like “surprise sex”? as  rapists said?

You,men who sustain that women and girls are guilty because of the way they dress and behave,  if you would have been caught and raped by seven men, while you were alone on the street after 10:00, you would have wanted that right?I mean that’s why you got out in the night for the first time, obviously!

This is your advice for women?

1. Take care and don’t interact with strangers? – When four out of five victims are raped by acquaintances!

2. Take care on how you dress? – Because men are like animals (But wait! Animals do not rape !!!!) and they can’t contain themselves!

3. Do not go out at night? – Wait, you thought you are entitled to freedom? Why don’t you just stay home and “make men a sandwich”?!

4. To be “good” or”fair shake”? – Everyone has the right to choose, everyone does what she/he wants with his body and uses it as he thinks it’s best for him. Of course women who do that are named “bitches” and a man “a good man”. Eventually,  a smile of appreciation appears when they see the last one as he managed to break many hearts and to double-cross many “stupid” women.
So attention parents of the world!

Attention, and I’m talking with you, mothers of the rapists , you who back up  your sons that they’re innocent! Note that the entourage isn’t the only one that counts! Note that instead of helping the poor girl who now has some psychological trauma that will remain with her the whole life, you’ve chosen a social media black-wash  to defend your “treasure”! Note that you are so “narrow” that you fail to get over your personal drama of having a son that’s a rapist, home arrested , instead of seeing that the real victim here is the woman!

And I even believe that you woke up suddenly with all this stuff that had fallen on you! And I think you have to save your  “baby”, it’s yours and you love him, and you want him to have a future! But when you said “That’s a whore!” and “The other one is a marriage-breaker!” and “Worth beaten because of that!” it didn’t ever occur to you that you build something there? Because you, yes .. you! make him understand that some women don’t have so many rights as you? And  some women are worthless because they have chosen to live their lives differently or did not have access to the same things as you had?

Now sit and look how your child will be the “whore” of others, and feel what that girl felt and see that it’s not too late to fix what you broke! It takes just a little common sense to this and a dash of courage! But beware, when your brave as a woman is likely to be blamed and sometimes beaten and abused!

Where’s the problem here? The problem is everywhere, the problem is already a cancer that instead of decreasing over time, increases, increases and manages to capture more and more people. The problem is that the young generation fails high school(Yes! For me is an index of illiteracy and lack of civil education!), The problem is that “money has the power” in our society, the problem is that some parents teach their own children that here the money and “slyness” counts!
So …:

YES! I blame the education system nowadays because the lack of sex education in schools!

YES! I blame the parents who don’t teach their child sex education and proper behavior!

YES! I blame society in Romania because over 80% of inhabitants are illiterate ! (This is a personal opinion, if you do not agree please convince me of the contrary!)

and

YES! I blame those who do not know to stop when you say NO!

More articles on this matter on the Facebook page: Nu inseamna Nu!

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A little bit sad, Anda

 

 

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